The China Miéville solution to the Milo Yiannopoulos problem

Infamous provocateur, public speaker, and Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos was set to deliver a speech yesterday at the University of California, Berkeley, but it was cancelled after an initial, peaceful demonstration by some 1,500 people was co-opted by a few dozen violent ‘Black bloc’ anarchists. This isn’t the first time it has happened to a Milo speech, and even other conservative authors, like Ben Shapiro (who couldn’t be considered a white supremacist by any stretch of the mind) were forced to cancel speeches due to incoming snowflake avalanche. Let’s not get into the politics of Yiannopoulos, Shapiro, and those who made them cancel their speeches, because we would be here all day; instead, let me offer a probable solution that might appease both sides of this conflict.

Milo Yiannopoulos

China Miéville’s sublime 2009 book, ‘The City & the City’ has an extraordinarily interesting premise. Tyador Borlú, the lead of the novel, is a detective in the fictional city of Besźel, who investigates the death of a foreign student, both in Besźel, and its ‘twin city’ Ul Qoma. By some unknown phenomenon, the two cities actually occupy the same dimensional space, but they are perceived by their denizens as different ones. A citizen must continuously ‘unsee’ the other city (erase from his mind, or let it fade into the background)– ‘breaching’, or peeking into the other city, whether intentionally, or by accident, is a punishable offense, more serious than murder. For example, an Ul Qoma resident is taught from childhood to ignore the other city, distinguishing it by style of clothing, gait, vehicles, or architecture.

The cities are composed of total, alter and crosshatched areas. A ‘total’ area only exists in one of the cities, the ‘alter’ areas only exist in the other, while crosshatched ares exist in both cities. A special building, Copula Hall, is sort of a border, existing in both cities, where you can legally cross into the other one. If you try to cross illegally, or simply fail to ‘unsee’ the other city, the clandestine organization known as ‘Breach’ will punish you. ‘Breach’ is the ‘unseen’ power player that keeps the fragile balance. While you may think these are some very harsh measures, I think it’s evident that an, ahem, ‘two-state solution’ like this one would solve all of the problems our divided country faces.


But how could we implement this in real life?

First, we have to determine the two sides: from now on, they shall be referred to as the ‘dem’ and the ‘rep’ side (sorry, libertarians and Greens, you aren’t big enough to take into consideration). Second, every citizen would have to pick their side in a general census. Third, every hamlet, town, village, city, and metropolis would be placed into one of the categories (dem, rep, or crosshatched) based on the percentage of each side in their census. For example, if a city had more than 66.6% of ‘dems’, it would be a pure ‘dem’ city; if it had more than 66.6% of ‘reps’, it would be a ‘rep’ city. If any settlement has more than 33.3% of the minority side, it would be a crosshatched city. If a settlement has less than 33.3% of the minority side, they would all have to leave (or exchange their homes on craigslist with someone from the other side).

The pure ‘dem’ or ‘rep’ settlements would be the easiest options to establish. The ‘rep’ side would have open carry everywhere, no abortion, only two recognized genders, absolute free speech (hate speech included) etc. A ‘dem’ side city would recognize every gender, have laws to regulate the use of correct pronouns, absolutely no guns, trigger warnings on their borders etc.

There would be considerably more complication in crosshatched cities. Every crosshatched city would have to provide accommodation, basic services, health care, public transport, banks, shops etc. for the minority side there. ‘Breaches’ would be regulated by the NSA (they certainly have the means), and other agencies. For example, there must be some form of punishment for a ‘rep’ woman who wants to have an abortion, and tries to get into a city on the other side to do so. Each state would have two governments, so each settlement can be governed without interference from the other side, but only one federal government. There would be some ‘neutral’ zones, too, where you can mingle with people from the other side: nature, military (it would be extremely inconvenient to keep two separate armed forces), and Washington, DC. There are many, many, many more problems to solve while establishing the two sides, but I firmly believe they could all be ironed out in the long term, with some careful planning.

COEXIST by Jim Goad

Citizens on each side could live their lives the way they always wanted to, by blocking out the harmful presence of the other, and not giving a damn about them. Each side would have the chance to show the other one the utopia they could have had decades ago, if not for the obstruction and pettiness of the other.

After all, if we can’t coexist peacefully, why should we coexist at all?

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What’s the statute of limitations of racism?

The nominations for the 89th Academy Awards were announced last Tuesday, with La La Land pulling an astounding 14 nominations, 6 for black actors (#OscarsNotSoWhite anymore?), and Mel Gibson’s Hacksaw Ridge getting another 6 noms. Cue: outrage.

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Back in July 2006, Mad Mel was arrested for DUI (whether that stands for the influence of racism, or alcohol, is unknown), and told the arresting officer the now famous lines ‘Fucking Jews… the Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?’. Then in July 2010 (it seems like July is a really bad month for him), in a telephone call with Oksana Grigorieva, the mother of his daughter Lucia, he said ‘you look like a fucking pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers, it will be your fault.’ Those are some pretty clear-cut cases of racism, no doubt about it, the more interesting quandary is how to pinpoint the exact moment the public mind forgets someone for his past racist transgressions (or if such forgiveness is even possible)?

Another recent, somewhat related incident genuinely shocked me. Noted republican strategist Ana Navarro stated with a confident smile on CNN that she is ‘not sure there’s a statute of limitations of racism’ while speaking about Jeff Sessions. What she essentially said is that if you ever made the mistake of cracking an offensive joke, saying such things while drunk (that you would regret in the morning), or making a genuinely racist gesture (or getting thrust into an act of accidental racism), you are condemned for life, with zero chance of washing away that particular scarlet letter. You have to wear the mark of Cain wherever you go. One bad moment, and suddenly you are on the level of Jared Fogle, Charles Manson or Dylann Roof, and the jeering internet hate crowd will always find a reason to publicly denounce you, even if you are breastfeeding starving Ethiopian orphans 24/7.

Mel Gibson wearing the mark of Cain

So, what method should we use to find that magical moment of forgiveness? How about the ship of Theseus thought experiment, which asks if a ship that has had all of its parts replaced stayed the same ship, or did it become a new one? There is a similar, very popular theory floating around the internet about the human body, stating that every cell in your body regenerates in seven years, so you become a new person every seven years. Of course, this has been widely questioned, and more importantly, seven years hasn’t passed since Mel’s last incident, so it’s very likely he still has about 10-20% of his racist cells left. Maybe he should have tried the ‘I’m a comedian’ defense, like Trevor Noah did for his anti-semitic tweets? It would be like a hunter saying ‘Hey, I’m a hunter, that means I can shoot whatever I want!’.

Picture of a famous hunter

Americans love a good comeback story. Seabiscuit. The Mighty Ducks. Kim Kardashian. Winona Ryder came back from the shoplifting incident and charmed all of us at the SAG awards. Everyone knows what Robert Downey Jr. went through. What is it about Mel Gibson that makes it impossible to forgive him? His unwillingness to apologise? Winona had to go through a personal hell for her crime, too, but no one checks her every action to make sure she hasn’t stolen yet another purse. Crime is crime, and racism is racism, but maybe we should give Mel the same benefit of doubt until he commits yet another mistake?

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Make January 30 Wear a Hijab to Work Day!

I wasn’t planning on writing a blog post today, but a certain, recent event made it impossible for me not to write, and I was adamant on posting an article post-haste to lend a voice to our beleaguered muslim sisters and brothers.


Peaceful protesters are already lashing back against this newest insanity, but sadly, I’m not sure if their strategy of turning back the ban will really make a difference. Trump must be getting used to the sight of protesters by now, and creating a trending Twitter hashtag (#StopPresidentBannon), while a commendable effort, is largely useless, since Trump doesn’t really follow anyone (other than his family), so he probably won’t see it, and Stephen K. Bannon, his Chief Strategist, hasn’t posted on Twitter since 2014. We need a radically different approach, one that will make even him take notice.

That’s why we need to Make January 30 Wear a Hijab to Work Day!

Imagine people all over the nation, in every state, county, and city, wearing a hijab (arguably the most recognized visual symbol of Islam), and showing their support! I can’t think of a more beautiful sight than a Starbucks full of Americans of every color, gender, sexual identity and religion in hijab. Newscasters wearing hijab on morning shows (Trump just loves morning shows!). Secret Service agents standing guard outside The White House cladded in hijab. Employees of the Trump Organization going to work in hijab (wonder what Don Jr. would think of that?). Celebrities strolling around sunny Los Angeles in hijab. Just imagine an entire country of brave and thoughtful people showing President Trump the symbol of his irrational fears, and confronting him!

While I recognize that World Hijab Day is just around the corner (February 1), we can’t wait two more days before taking action, not while there is a real chance of even more families getting separated over this new order, or people taking their lives. You don’t even need to wear a genuine piece of hijab, a scarf, or any other piece of clothing will make do; what really matters is the gesture. Since the hijab is a symbol of female empowerment, it will send even a feminist message (like the Women’s March did) to President Trump (like the saying goes, we would be feeding two dogs with one bone).


Time is of the essence! You have to act right now, and retweet, share, or relay this message of solidarity to your friends as soon possible! Make President Trump see the love and empathy of Americans, and Make January 30 Wear a Hijab to Work Day!


Should we start eradicating problematic words from the english language to prevent accidental racism?

Let’s start in medias res and address the elephant in the room: despite all of our progress, racism is still prevalent in our society. PoC face environmental, institutional, covert, and many other types of racism each single day. It’s vitally important to address every type, no matter what form they may take, and maybe that’s why accidental racism doesn’t get enough recognition: at first glance, it may seem innocuous, but actually, it’s a snake in disguise.

Ruth Negga: a probable case of accidental racism

There are many causes of accidental racism: it can happen because of a misheard or mispronounced word, a stupid typo, Siri fucking up a word, an engineering mistake, and the list goes on and on. You may laugh about it, or not take it seriously because of it’s nature, but just imagine being a single black mother with two kids: you worry every day that your kids won’t get accepted into better schools on account of their skin color, or how law enforcement may discriminate them, how the president may deport them… etc. Then, after a long and stressful day, you see someone sharing a ‘LOL!!! THIS IS SO FUNNY!!! XDDD’ picture of unintentional racism, and you reach your breaking point. You cry and curse, feeling helpless, feeling vulnerable against the tide of hate. Different people have different breaking points, and we should never shrug off an instant of accidental racism with a condescending ‘Get over it’.

That’s exactly why we should eradicate certain words from our vocabularies and minds, so no one has to feel this injustice. Let’s also take into consideration the other side of accidental racism. A single, racist tweet can destroy your life, but if you aren’t fast enough with an explanation, or you have really bad people skills, an act of accidental racism can do the same. Since accidental racism usually isn’t enough to really hurt a PoC, but it may have dire consequences to every white person, accepting my proposals is especially in the interests of white people.

Here is a small selection of my list of problematic words:

  • Chin:
  • Example: ‘Keep your chins up!’
  • Problematic context: A white baseball coach saying it to a team with Chinese Americans.
  • Coo
  • Example: ‘[Looking at pigeons] I hate when they coo near me!’
  • Problematic context: Being in the company of African Americans.
  • Wet, back, or both:
  • Example: ‘The rain caught me from behind, I can’t sit down with this fucking wet back!’
  • Problematic context: Being in the company of Mexican Americans.
  • Whopping
  • Example: ‘The home team had a whopping victory last night!’
  • Problematic context: When one of the teams is italian.

I hope society assesses my suggestions, and chooses the appropriate course of action. In the end we shall make accidental racism literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it. And you know, we can always just come up with new words.

One other thing: what should we do about Carrie Coon?

Carrie Coon: the leading source of accidental racism in the United States

Like always, if you enjoyed my article, please retweet/reblog/share it. Or else.

Did Shia LaBeouf commit a love crime?


As you have probably heard, this is the name of the 24/7 live stream launched by actor/performance artist Shia LaBeouf and co. on the day of President Trump’s inauguration, with the purpose of inviting the public to deliver the words HWNDU as a means of sending a message to the new administration. Unsurprisingly, he was arrested on Wednesday evening following an altercation with a guy who said ‘Hitler did nothing wrong’ on camera, and the incident fired up my neurons.

Should this criminal act be categorised as a love crime?

Shia LaBeouf at the scene of the He Will Not Divide Us art project

There was a flurry of such crimes during and following the inauguration. A limousine was torched in downtown Washington, which, hilariously enough, belonged to the company of a muslim immigrant. You’ve all seen or read what happened to Richard Spencer. All of these crimes were committed as a backlash against the sometimes divisive, sometimes outright hateful rhetoric or actions of Trump or his supporters. One could argue that LaBeouf et al. committed these crimes as an act of love and solidarity towards americans of color, Muslims, Jews, LGBTQ people, or anyone who might feel threatened by the hate some Trump supporters have shown them. And the antithesis of hate is, of course, love.

Since hate is usually an aggravating factor in sentencing (whether consciously or unconsciously by the judge or the jury), why shouldn’t love factor in as well? While doing some research for this post, I’ve found Smart Ass Cripple’s excellent blog, and he tackled the subject of love crimes (admittedly, in a different approach), and there were some instances where defendants claimed the love defense. Who knows, maybe this will become the new Chewbacca defense in the age of Trump?

South Park Season 2, Episode 14: “Chef Aid”

I’m not advocating that LaBeouf or various violent protesters should get milder punishment, and I don’t want more crimes of this type. This is merely some food for thought for hungry readers.

Bon appétit!

As always, any and all feedback is much appreciated. Don’t be gentle, I like my criticism raw and wild!

It’s time to have an open conservation about tall privilege

The conversation of why Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election has taken a lot of sharp turns: it was because of those pesky russians, being a bad candidate, racism, the emails, James Comey, misogyny, whatever. For many americans, the real reason was evident from the moment she first had to share a podium with Donald Trump: it was because of tall privilege. At 5’5″ she would have been the second shortest president after James Madison (it’s no wonder she couldn’t reach the glass ceiling), but she stood no chance against Trump’s 6’1/2″, and our inherently heightist society denied her rightful throne.

Priviliged people, living in the safe neighborhoods above 5’8″ street, could never fathom the stress of being short. You are less successful. You’ll never be as respected. You have less chance to score a date. Essentially, you have to earn more to compete with men taller than you; too bad that shorter men earn less money on average. And the jokes and the nicknames… don’t even get me started on the M-word! We can’t declare ourselves a healthy society until we judge people by their height instead of their merits, and avoid a confrontation with our heightist past.

Henry Victor, Olga Baclanova, and Harry Earles from Freaks (1932)

Unsurprisingly, President Obama has never brought up the extremely sensitive topic of tall privilege, since he is the eleventh tallest president ever, inside the most privileged 25%, standing at a comfortable 6’1″. Thus the reason why Obamacare never got a Midgetaid Expansion, so that underprivileged short people could have access to a life-saving limb-lengthening operation, which is all the rage in India, is the fact that Obama is a disgusting heightist. You want more proof? One of Obama’s favorite sports is basketball, an institutionally heightist sport (the average height of an NBA player is 6’7″, while the average male height in the US is about 5’9″). If he was really serious about his progressive agenda, he would’ve chosen another, less problematic sport, something like chess.

I feel it is my duty to share some proposals for the consideration of the new administration on how to improve the life of short people. I don’t have much faith in them, because of President Trump’s height, but I’ll give him the benefit of doubt (for now).

1) Create a Short History Month (set in February, of course), honoring the achievements of some of the most famous short people in US history: celebrated writer Truman Capote (5’4″), philantrophist Andrew Carnegie (5’2″), James Madison (5’4″), the fourth US President, who helped drafting the Constitution and the Bill of Rights etc.

2) Help twitter hashtags like #OscarsSoTall get trending (did you know that the average height of Oscar nominees for Best Actor in 2017 was 5’11”?), because emotional blackmail never fails.

3) Create an app that splits restaurant bills so taller people pay more at group dinners (based on the idea of EquiTable).

If you think these are laughable ideas, or you try to tallsplain to me, then seriously, fuck you. Being short, struggling with daily discrimination, and getting laughed at, can lead to mental health problems and a really bad case of insecurity. Case in point:

Robert Downey Jr.

And never forget: I love my shortness. And yours.

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The left’s unhealthy obsession with Richard Spencer will make a martyr out of him

Paul the Apostle. Joan of Arc. Thomas More. Socrates. And… this guy?

Bruce Willis from Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)

Whoops, sorry, wrong picture. That isn’t actually Richard Bertrand Spencer, it just might be, but there is a yuuuge difference: he can rest assured there won’t be a Sam Jackson to protect him in real life, because according to most people on Twitter, and a (deleted, but archived) Independent article, it’s absolutely all right to punch a nazi.

Let’s not argue whether or not it’s okay to punch a nazi (there may be an article about that later), but rather about how to solve a ‘problem’ like this one without violence. Mahatma Gandhi wrote: ‘Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat, for it is momentary.’ (of course, he also wrote that ‘[germans of future generations] …will honour Herr Hitler as genius, as a brave man, a matchless organizer and much more.’, so his track record isn’t 100%).

‘Problem’, because before the election Spencer was a non-entity, absolutely unknown to the larger public, and he only gained notoriety after the 2016 National Policy Institute Conference, when about 200 measly members of the group gathered in The Ronald Reagan Building, and threw nazi salutes to honor President-elect Trump. One of those attendees was apparently jewish, who saluted for shits and giggles, and another was ‘honorary aryan’ Tila Tequila; certainly not the kind of nazis Himmler would have accepted into the SS, more like deranged individuals addicted to momentary fame.

Trying to undermine Trump’s presidency by putting  a pip-squeak  like Spencer in the spotlight , and thereby associating Trump’s every move with white supremacy, thus further eroding his support with every article, is a good move; at least, if you aren’t concerned about the possible consequences of your actions. The old line ‘All publicity is good publicity’ may not be true if you are making a movie about dogs, and you abuse said dogs during the making of said movie, but it’s certainly true if you want nothing more than to spread an ideology. Every time you retweet a ‘hilarious’ edit of Richard Spencer getting punched remixed with a chic song, you give him more free publicity. Maybe it would be more productive for our society, if you left Spencer in the corner, like that guy with the bad breath at a party, let him fade into obscurity, and occasionally remind people of his existence, sort of like a ghost of Kristallnacht past.

If you aren’t willing to overlook his festering presence, then here’s another way how to deal with him without violence. This one is straight out of the Trump School of Defeating Ideas with Ridicule Playbook. Remember Little Marco Rubio? Lyin’ Ted Cruz? Crooked Hillary Clinton? Of course you do. Everyone does. (I still occasionally get a chuckle out of ‘Look at that face… would anyone vote for that?’ Fiorina.) So, what about Tricky Dick Spencer? Okay, that’s taken. Let’s see… Little Dick Spencer? Now that one could actually work, given how many people in the alt-right are insecure about their gun caliber, and particularly… err… about racial stereotypes of size. You get the idea.

What about defeating racism with love, like this guy did? The absolute worst thing that could happen to Richard Spencer would be if some jewish folk invited him to a Bar Mitzvah, or a black church asked him to attend sermon, or a Korean American family to a nice, comfy BBQ. Of course, I don’t think there are many people in the US currently, who would have the patience to ‘love thy enemies’.

Just remember: every punch landed on Richard Spencer sends another dozen disenfranchised white teenagers bullied by black classmates into the welcoming arms of the alt-right. Every attack on him is another Dylann Roof in the making. Every time a celebrity mocks his beating with a tweet may be the final proof for someone contemplating the existence of white genocide.

Another attack on him is only the matter of time. If you have strong antipathy towards Spencer, and you are sure your peers would celebrate your deed, instead of scolding you, than why the hell wouldn’t you pull up your black hoodie and sucker punch him? Just remember: a suckerpunch is only a hair’s breadth away from an accidental death. It happens more often than you would think. Life isn’t like your Hollywood movies where the antagonist just stoically shrugs off the hero’s punches and then lands in jail.

Bruce Willis from The Last Boy Scout (1991)

Okay, sometimes it happens in the movies, too. And who knows what’s on Richard Spencer’s mind? Maybe that’s exactly what he wants; to be a figurehead, a martyr, around which a new white supremacist movement, with a strengthened purpose can gather. Sorta like with Black Lives Matter and Trayvon Martin. A martyr to his cause, and a spark that ignites the flames of racial violence higher than ever.

And I’m pretty sure more violence and hate isn’t what the country needs right now.

Heartfelt thanks to Scott Adams for the inspiration.

Since I’m new to the blogging game, any and all feedback would be much appreciated. Don’t be gentle!